After some more persistent prodding I'm back at the computer writing an update on Whitney, and I suppose a little about myself. I often think of topics I could write about as I'm driving, or running, or sitting lazily in front of the TV. Should I write about her new found "screaming" and how it's awfully cute and endearing and very very annoying at the same time? Or what about how she gives the best big hugs and kisses? Or how she prefers to give the dog the biggest hugs of all? Or what about how she still remains to be the best sleeper and eater we could have asked for? She's really a good girl. Or her clever ways to climb onto the couch, and knows enough already to not stand on the couch?
I keep coming back to the question I shamelessly asked myself a few times in those first few months, "why me?" In those tearful nights and long agonizing days, "why is this happening to me, how can this truly be happening to me?"
And now, almost 17 months later, I am asking myself the same question, but looking at her, and seeing her smile and babble and play and asking "why me?" but thinking, she's here and she's doing great and she's perfect and she's mine "why me, Lord, why me?" Why have you blessed me and my family, so? I look forward to each day I get so spend with her. Through every scream and every piece of food thrown on the ground and every time she pulls the dog's tail, I love it. I cant get enough of it. So yes, quite possibly everyday, I ask myself now "why me, how did I get so lucky?"